STM Reflection

 

Chapel Memories: Raising Children at STM

communion girls blog photoIt took many walks with Colleen and Mike Stankewich to convince Christian and me to visit Saint Thomas More in the summer of 2001.  At the time, our son, Owen had just turned five and our daughter, Clare, was about 6 months old.  Frankly, after visits to churches out of state and some of the parishes in the community, our expectations were low.  

We arrived at Mass, taking a seat in the back, with Clare in a Baby Bjorn and Owen carrying a bag of books.  Fr. Bob said Mass that particular Sunday.  After Mass, we followed Colleen, Mike and baby Allie into the church basement and were introduced to other families and community members.  We found STM to be a welcoming community with thoughtful dialogue, pushing members to expand their faith, serve the social justice mission of the church and build community.

When our kids were little, they would say that they wanted to go to church to get powdered sugar donuts and see their friends at coffee hour.  As preschoolers, they knew the power and fellowship of the STM coffee hour.  It had the familiarity of the church I grew up in, where community members gathered in a courtyard after Mass to catch up, problem-solve and laugh.  Through coffee hour and time outside of Mass, our kids grew comfortable with their ability to develop positive relationships with members of the church of all ages who had the feeling of family.

At the time, STM did not have formal catechism classes for children.  We were provided with home-study materials to prepare Owen for his first communion.  At the same time, Christian began meeting with Fr. Bob and preparing to make his own Communion and Confirmation.  We would work with Owen to prepare him for his sacraments and grew as parents at the same time.  First Penance for Owen ended with him bounding back to the pew and announcing to his sister that Fr. Bob told him that they needed to work together to get along -- truly sage advice.   That year Owen and Christian made their first communion together on Father’s Day. 

We are grateful for the opportunity we had to raise our children at STM.  With this community, we were able to introduce our children to the Church’s mission of social justice and the show them the power of love.  Our kids were able to decorate Easter eggs and Christmas cookies, make cards and hospitality packages and serve nourishing meals to guests of the STM Soup Kitchen starting at a very young age.  They continue to be grateful for the opportunities we had to get involved and support the El Hraaki family’s immigration to the United States.  Christian and I could never have done this on our own, and we found STM to be a wonderful partner in helping our children grow.  Our kids are nearly grown now.  Clare will graduate from high school this year and head to college.  Owen graduated from Clark University in May and is spending this year as part of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in San Jose, California.  Christian and I know as our children go out into the world, their early experiences at STM will help guide them in their future.  We pray that they are grounded in faith, recognizing the need to advocate and work for social justice, and to respond in all situations with love.

 Join us at the 80th Anniversary Celebration of STM Chapel at Yale by following the link: https://stm.yale.edu/80-years