A Reflection for the First Sunday of Lent

When I was fifteen and just a few weeks shy of being confirmed, my confirmation class had a required reconciliation night. My church recruited a small group of visiting priests to hear our confessions. Before the evening began, my fellow confirmands and I stood in a group outside the sanctuary doors, chatting and jittery, while the priests filed by us to take their places. Just as he was passing me, one priest stopped, turned to us, and dramatically hissed, “sinners!” under his breath, before following the other priests into the sanctuary.This is what I think of when I hear Jesus say, “Repent!” I remember that feeling of absolute terror watching that priest walk away, and realizing I’d have to go tell him everything wrong I’d ever done. My virtues forgotten, I was reduced to the list of sins I’d written in tiny, ashamed letters on the piece of paper clutched in my sweaty hand.

Twelve years later, I realize that he was probably kidding. I’m sure he got a kick out of scaring us a bit, knowing that we would likely find a depth of relief and peace in God’s mercy through the sacrament. But what’s more important to realize is that Jesus is not trying to strike that kind of fear in our hearts at all. In a way, he is doing the opposite.

In his essay, “A New Way of Seeing,” Bishop Robert Barron explains that the Greek word we translate as “repent” is metanoia. While “repent” in English has that moralizing overtone, Bishop Barron suggests a more accurate translation is something like “go beyond the mind that you have.” And what mind is that? Bishop Barron suggests that we commonly perceive and act with a mind of fear rather than a mind of trust. In fear we cling to what surrounds us, and lash out at anyone we perceive as a threat. We live with a very small, afraid and egotistical soul. But when we perceive and act with a mind of trust, we surrender to God and we let God love us. We are free to clear away the distractions separating us from perceiving God’s love and presence, and our souls expand beyond our selves.

So when you hear, “repent and believe,” know that the Bible footnote offers an alternative translation, “turn around and trust.” Jesus isn’t scolding you, but inviting you into a new way of seeing. This Lent, may we rise to Jesus’s challenge to let go of some of our fear, turn around and trust.