I (generally) like rules and am good at following directions. I am a “get things done right away” type of person and am very wary of procrastination. While these traits often serve me well, in moments of weakness, they can make me quick to judge others who might differ from me in these respects. 

For most Yale history lecture courses, students submit a weekly reading response before their discussion section. While professors set deadlines for papers and other assignments, Teaching Fellows (TFs) often have a say in policies for these responses.

Ahead of my first semester as a TF (spring 2020), I wrestled with the temptation to be strict and to hold others to the standards I keep for myself.

But I was also mindful of how stressful college (and life) can be and did not want my policies to cause additional stress for my students or impair their ability to learn. I also wanted to be approachable and able to catch potential issues before they spiraled.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells the disciples:  

To “be merciful, just as your Father is merciful”

To “stop judging and you will not be judged”

To “forgive and you will be forgiven”

I kept these words in mind as I created a policy for reading responses that I’ve stuck to ever since.

As long as a student sends me an email before the deadline letting me know they need to submit the response late, I will grant them an extension. (I’ve been known to maintain this even if a student emails me after the deadline). No explanation needed—unless this becomes a repeated issue in which case I reach out to the student to check in.

I receive one to three of these emails a week (often with explanations that are not required):

“I had a track meet, and have a physics midterm, a giant paper…”

“I organized a debate tournament and had an acapella concert…”

“I was comforting a friend who had a loss in his immediate family….”

Setting aside my own instinct to judge, I immediately reply:

“No problem, good luck on the midterm and paper.”

“Perfectly fine, please get some sleep.”

“Totally fine. I appreciate you being a good friend. Please look after yourself as well.”

Without an exception, the students submit well-written and thoughtful responses by the new deadline.

Can I verify that all of these reasons are 100% true? No.

If I were in their shoes, would I find a way to submit the response on time? Probably.

Have I been the beneficiary of others’ willingness to show me mercy and to not judge me when I’ve fallen short? Absolutely.

Is this one way in which I can show kindness and mercy towards my students? Absolutely.

Ultimately, this policy—this small act of mercy—is a way I can show my students that I value their ability to recognize they are overwhelmed and ask for help, far more than I care about their ability to submit a response on time. It is a tiny way for me to be sensitive of their needs and feelings—and to put aside my instinct to judge others.

That being said, in today’s reading, Jesus calls us to do far more than simply grant extensions on reading posts. We are called to be mindful of God’s compassion, forgiveness and mercy towards us—and to do our best to follow his example in our interactions with others.

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” This message may seem daunting—so what if we each start small?

Tomorrow, if someone falls short, can you give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe even lend a helping hand, rather than rush to judgement?

I (generally) like rules. And as a TF, there are ways I can use rules as opportunities to follow Jesus’s example—to extend compassion and mercy towards my students, and to remind myself to have a nonjudgmental attitude towards others.