While I was running during this chilly morning on these quiet, silent New Haven streets, I kept thinking that I needed to say or write something about the trial of former police officer Derek Chauvin, who was convicted on three counts for the murder of George Floyd. In my mind I could hear the many voices we have heard throughout this year: Floyd crying for his life, “I can’t breathe;” the chants of protestors at the BLM marches this summer chanting, “say their names;” and then the many voices we heard from the witness stand. Over these past few weeks, we heard from the 911 dispatcher, the medical examiners, police experts and the many who relived watching Floyd’s last moments and shared their feelings of helplessness, fear, sorrow and regret for not having done more to save his life or intervene. Like Darnella Frazier, the teenager without whose iPhone footage many say Chauvin’s conviction would not have been possible, who shared that she stays up at night apologizing to Floyd. I’m also hearing Floyd’s brother, Philonise, who said on behalf of his family: “today, we can breathe again.”

Over the last days we have heard a renewed call to conversion, as Chauvin’s conviction is only a first step towards justice, accountability and reparation. If our country can truly be a place where every life has value, every person’s rights and dignity are protected and every person has access to what they need for true human flourishing—there is much more to be done. In an op-ed in yesterday’s New York Times, Esau McCaulley, an assistant professor of New Testament at Wheaton college, reflected on what it’s like responding to questions from his son on the way to baseball practice about all that has happened against a backdrop of our nation’s history of white supremacy, deep racial injustice and “the tragedies that have occurred when people of color encounter the police,” such as those that occurred even over these past two weeks as the trial reached its conclusion. McCaulley, speaking not only as an educator and Christian but as a black parent, stated that “we must walk that fine line between telling the truth about how cruel America can be toward Black bodies and souls and the hope that our children can be their free Black selves.” As one person who, as a white male, a Christian and a spiritual father, has felt convicted on several counts throughout this time of racial reckoning, I know I need to continue to listen—and, do both the internal and external work that needs to be done to dismantle racism in all its forms.