Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord. The moment when the disciples, who accompanied Jesus through his earthly ministry, join with him on the mountain before he ascends to heaven—his mission now complete. I wonder what was on their hearts.

In his reflection on this solemnity, Pope St. Leo the Great writes:

“Dearly beloved, those days which intervened between the Lord’s Resurrection and Ascension did not pass by in uneventful leisure, but great mysteries were ratified in them and deep truths were revealed. In those days the fear of death was removed with all its terrors…the disciples, who had been both bewildered at his death on the cross and backward in believing his Resurrection, were so strengthened by the clearness of the truth that when the Lord entered the heights of heaven, not only were they affected with no sadness, but were even filled with great joy.”

But today’s short Gospel suggests that in this moment the disciples were experiencing some mixed emotions. “The eleven disciples went to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them. When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.”

“They worshipped, but they doubted.” Jesus has completed his mission to save them and us – proof that the promises through him have and will be fulfilled. The disciples have every reason to rejoice with Jesus and to trust him. So, they worship. However, despite all that they learned, all that they heard and all that they experienced with Jesus in the course of his earthly mission (even onto witnessing his victory over death), the disciples STILL have doubts.

In these last days between the end of finals and commencement, as we prepare to celebrate, say goodbye and send off a wonderful cadre of graduates leaving STM and Yale, I imagine that we are all experiencing some mixed emotions. We worship God in thanksgiving for these awesome people who completed their mission, and who now embark on a new one. We celebrate them. But goodbyes are tough and the future is unknown. Many may be experiencing a lack of clarity about what God is calling them (and us) to next. For the many who experienced the sweet taste of success, as well as the comfort of this place, these friends, this routine, and have learned how to roll with the punches and integrate the difficulties, the failures and bear the wounds with stories to tell, going out on mission into uncharted territory can weigh heavily on the heart, feel a little sad, and even tempt one to feel doubt about what comes next in this time of transition.

Perhaps God is inviting us on this Ascension Thursday to lean into what the disciples are experiencing as they both celebrate with Jesus on his mission accomplished, but struggle with those lingering doubts. The key difference for us, however, is that we know how the story ends. And it does not end in grief or confusion. It ends in victory and peace and tangible love. We know that this is true because Christ is RISEN—and that changes everything.

So let us run on faith with our hearts, our eyes and our minds fixed on the mission ahead, which Christ now entrusts to our graduates, to all of us and indeed to all Christians who bear his name and loving presence in every corner of the world: “GO therefore, and make disciples of all nations…And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.