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Running on Faith: Suffering and Finishing Well

Grace marathon

On Sunday, Assistant Chaplain Grace Carroll ran the Providence Marathon through the capital city of her home state in Rhode Island. She finished 164th out of 1200 runners, and completed the hilly course in personal record time of 3:22.42.

Grace shared with me some of what was going through her mind over the course of the race, particularly as she reached its end, when the finish line, even though it was just a few miles away, felt like it could have been a hundred. It was at that point when suffering began to set in, and when everything hurt. With a laugh she said that “I remember at one point asking myself what didn’t hurt to try to focus on that (think this was mile 24/25) and came up with earlobes and elbows…”

She went on to say the following: “I did a lot of praying (as much as I could muster at that point) in the last five miles when I was suffering. More repeating names of people, whose names I had written on the corner of my bib to help me think about them, people whose pain doesn’t have a finish line, as mine did. Or at least a known finish line.”

That really hit home for me, as I have a similar practice, dedicating each mile to someone, and in those last miles, as the pain starts to set in, trying to focus not on my own pain and suffering, which is part of the marathon experience that I chose to take on, but on those who are bearing in their bodies and on their hearts and minds suffering that they did not choose, and that does not have, as Grace put it, a clear finish line.

Grace went on to share something that arose from her prayer in those final minutes of the race, which might resonate with our students, our faculty and all of us who are feeling the pressure—and yes—the suffering of these final days of the semester, which can feel like the final stretch of a marathon:

“In the last stretch (about a mile) before a short, but steep uphill at 26 and then a sharp left to the finish line, I thought about finishing well and suffering well. I didn’t let myself walk any of the hills in the last few miles, even though those that did around me seemed to get up them faster than I was moving. I felt like suffering well on Sunday meant I kept running, even if I wasn’t moving very fast at that point.”

Finish well and suffer well. Perhaps let’s make that our prayer for each other over the days ahead as we run for the finish line, even if it feels far away and there are many sharp hills yet to come. I imagine that it will feel a little different for each of us. Let’s pray, not only for ourselves that we may endure and persevere through this, but let’s remember those whose suffering does not have a clear finish line. As tempting as it may be to stop and walk, let’s keep running, even it doesn’t feel like we’re moving as fast as we’d like.

Fr. Ryan Lerner, Chaplain

Fr. Ryan Lerner, Chaplain

Fr. Ryan Lerner is Yale's 8th Catholic Chaplain.